A Trip to Publix with the Terrible Twosome

Yesterday school was cancelled due to icy road conditions and snow on the ground. Yep, a few snowflakes and the city shuts down, it's okay though, it was nice not to have to be anywhere yesterday. Well, because of the bad weather, grocery shopping got pushed to today... with both Livie and Lauren. What a delightful experience that was... I told them if they were good, they could have a cookie from the bakery at the end of the shopping trip...

First, they took it upon themselves to be the personal Publix welcome committee and screamed hello to everyone we passed in just about every aisle. That was cute. Instead of pushing the mammoth "race-car(t)" around the store, they decided they would rather ride in the cart that has the gigantic yellow seat attached to it. Pros to this choice, this cart has a wicked turning radius, unlike the "race-car(t)" that takes out shelves and shoppers when you unsuccessfully try to maneuver it around the store. Said cart also picks up speed and is nearly impossible to stop once it gathers momentum. Con, the cart with the yellow seat attached is about the length of a mini-van...

The first 10 minutes of the trip were okay, they wouldn't stay buckled and it just wasn't worth losing my mind over it so I let it go... Since they weren't buckled, they kept jumping off the cart when I would turn to get something and then I would trip over them and nearly land flat on my face because I didn't see them right underfoot. This delighted me to no end as you can imagine and it happened not once, not twice but three times and then once more for good measure at the checkout.

Right about now, my patience and any chance of them getting anything remotely resembling a cookie from the bakery flew out the the double automatic doors at the front of the store. Olivia, learning of her cookie-less fate erupts into the mother of all meltdowns.

At this point, I am sprinting through the store with my 48-foot shopping cart with the girls holding on for dear life since they wouldn't stay buckled in.

We finally arrive at the checkout. I am hurling the groceries onto the belt as fast as possible while the girls are emptying the magazine rack and candy bar rack at warp speed. As horns burst through my forehead, I threaten the girls not to touch one more thing, through gritted teeth. The checkout lady gets us through in record time, then the bagger asks me if I would like some help. um no, looks like I've got everything under control... thanks

Yes. Please! I seriously could use some psychiatric help.